My wife asked me yesterday morning if we could have a date night soon, which I responded "Sure, let's do it Thursday at the house!" and then she explained that she wanted it to be us going out to dinner, getting dressed up, etc. Our funds are limited this month (trying to get caught up with mortgage and utilities), I explained we'd have to look at the budget we agreed on earlier this month and see where the money was going to come from.
She asked me if I was in the mood to go out to eat, I explained I wasn't really and that I'm more interested in getting us out of debt. I also reminded her of the week trip we had just done last month. It hurts me to not be able to do the things we/she want, but we got ourselves into this mess through lack of self-control and bad choices.
That evening we had another related event happen, where she picked up a "Free" glossy magazine called "goingplaces" and it was filled with events over the summer (festivals, etc), that cost money. It was like a giant walking billboard. It brought her mood down like a rock knowing that we don't have the money to go to those things. The second time around I was able to handle it a better, different way..."Before you had picked up that magazine, your mood was great. Once you realized it had stuff you couldn't have, it brought your mood down. We don't have to spend money to have fun, there will always be items no matter what that are out of our reach." That last part I got from my reading of "The Richest Man In Babylon".
1 comment:
Ok, crazy idea. I've been known for those though, so bear with me. Be crazy. Get dressed up and go to McDonalds. Live dangerously....order value meals AND dessert! :) Dress to the hilt if you must.
A few things will happen....
You will talk about that for the rest of your lives...."remember the time...."
You will give other people something to talk about when they get home to their families...."you wouldn't believe the couple I saw in McDonalds....."
Because of a crazy week we have (see www.pediascribe.com and look for "Tech Week Crazies,") my daughter and I have been eating a "picnic" dinner in the car. Now, it's Ohio, so it's about 30 degrees, but yesterday I mentioned something to her about "heading into the theater to eat" and she was totally against it....she wanted to keep having her picnic in the car. :)
One of our most memorable "meals out" is the time we were driving to Florida on Thanksgiving day and NOTHING was open. It was mid-afternoon and we finally found a grocery store open. We got some prepared chicken, some rolls, and some prepared Jello cups and we popped open the back of the SUV and ate Thanksgiving dinner there!!! Everyone STILL talks about that as being one of their favorite meals on the road! :) (oh, and the LOOKS we got...I'm sure people went home to their traditional Thanksgiving meals and said "you wouldn't believe the family I saw.....")
You'll have to tread carefully. If you keep pushing this, and your wife keeps resisting, it will set up resentment and tension. It's a tricky situation and I wish you luck.
Gosh, I'm longwinded, eh?
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